How To Enjoy Life At Hogwarts
by Haine Toliver
Summary: Lyra Cray decides she and her friends Fred and George need a good laugh. And a sunny Saturday morning, who wants to study for exams? Includes making fun of Snape.
1. To Hug a Slytherin

**Hey everyone! This is my OC for Harry Potter, Miss Lyra Holiday Cray with the Weasley twins. I was reading a list of Things Not To Do in Hogwarts and the muse of invention came. Hope you enjoy.**

_**X-o-X-o**_

Lyra Cray was exceedingly bored. She rolled over on her bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to do with her precious Saturday morning. She had spent all this week and last studying for exams. Today she wanted to take a break. Today she wanted to pull a prank. But what kind of prank? She mused on this for a while. Something against the Slytherins. Something that could easily be pulled off today. Something clever that none of them would be expecting. Lyra lay there for a while thinking hard. Suddenly inspiration came knocking. She sat up in bed grinning. She pulled her long blonde hair up into a ponytail and decided to make a visit.

She went down to the common room. On a squashy gold sofa, amidst a bunch of other loitering students, sat Hogwarts Trouble Maker's in Chief, Fred and George Weasley, lazing about like the good teenage boys they were.

She backed up six or seven steps and ran at the sofa. With a flying leap, she landed in seat between the twins, the sofa springs squeaking in protest underneath her.

After nearly an entire school year, the twins had grown fairly used to Lyra's randomness. "Wotcha." Fred murmured from her right. His face was obscured by the pale freckled arm that was flung across his face. "'Lo." George muttered from her left. A scarlet pillow was covered over his face. Apparently they were both still sleepy. That was about to change.

"Wake up you lazybones, we've got work to do today." Lyra snapped at them.

"Saturday is to no class is to free time." George yawned. "I'm not getting up even if the paper said Cornelius Fudge is Mother Teresa in his spare time."

Lyra groaned. "I thought you two were the masters of mayhem or something."

Fred lifted his arm away from his face. "Of course we are."

"Don't doubt that for a minute." George added as he pulled the pillow off his face.

"So get troublemaking!" She sighed and jumped up off the couch and stood before them, hands on hips impatiently. The twins looked at each other, amused expressions on their faces.

"Are you trying to force us into a reckless mood Miss Cray?" George asked, smiling rakishly.

"Yes." Lyra nodded approvingly. "Because I'm in a reckless mood as well, I'm sick of studying, I hate all Slytherins, and I want a good laugh." She raised her fist in the air, very much like a general rallying their troops to war. "Now who's with me?" She demanded.

Fred and George exchanged a passing glance at each other. What the hell; she was insane and so were they.

_**X-o-X-o**_

"If Snape murders us because of this, Fred and I have decided we're coming to back-"

"-To haunt my ass?" Lyra finished for George. "I know. I've heard people say that sort of thing to me before."

They were walking down the hall, carrying big stacks of green paper, specially charmed by the twins for such an occasion as this. As soon as they came to the Entrance Hall, they stopped and looked over their shoulders carefully to make sure no one was around.

"You know, I could use some of that Gryffindor courage right about now." Lyra muttered warily.

"I think you can buy that from Madam Rosmerta actually." George said to her with a cheerful smile.

"It comes in bottles labeled 'Firewhiskey'." Fred informed them.

Lyra set down her stack of handouts in the middle of the floor. Suddenly she grabbed a handful and flung them into the air.

"For good measure." She informed Fred and George with a grin as the papers came fluttering down in a shower of green onto the floor. They set to work across the school, magically binding the occasional paper to the wall or by a classroom door, folding them up into paper airplanes and sending them whizzing through the school with a wave their wands. By the time an hour was up, they had fully covered the entire layout of the school.

"That was fun." George said as he smacked the last green paper on the wall by the Fat Lady, snoozing comfortably in her portrait.

"I can't wait to see the look on Malfoy's face." Fred snickered. The three friends stared at their handiwork triumphantly for a few seconds before departing into the Gryffindor common room for a good game of Exploding Snap

_**X-o-X-o**_

Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, was enjoying his last lemon sherbet when all of a sudden the Potions Master came bursting into his office.

"Severus!" He greeted him warmly. "How nice to see you! I would offer you a lemon sherbet, but I've run clean out I'm afraid."

"We have a problem Headmaster." Snape said icily. He strode directly up to his employer and slapped an emerald green sheet of paper down on the desk. Dumbledore tweaked his glasses back into position on his crooked nose and picked up the paper. Four small and elaborately drawn black snakes slithered artfully around the borderline of the paper. In gleaming black and silver lettering was the following:

_Welcome to the official Hug a Slytherin Day_

_Be kind to some poor, neglected little Slytherins. Give them a hug! Tell them how you really feel! Remember: with every expression of love, some of these snakes might stand a chance of becoming real human beings one day!_

Dumbledore thought it wise not laugh in the presence of the furious look Snape was producing. He set the paper back down on his desk solemnly and looked at Snape.

"This is a very serious matter." Dumbledore said quietly. Snape looked at him in shock.

"You are taking me seriously? After all these years of reporting Potter and his friend's rule breaking and the Weasley twins high jinks, you finally listen to me?"

"But of course," Dumbledore replied, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "After all, we can't have all our Slytherins growing sense of humor, now can we?"

_**X-o-X-o**_

**What do you think? Should I start adding to this or what? Playing with an idea of doing a 101 ways kind of story at the moment. Maybe some romance later on? **

**Who knows?**

**-H-T-**


	2. An Evil Little Favor

**Well, it seems some people like this little idea of mine. Enjoy!**

_**X-o-X-o**_

Hogwarts' first official Hug a Slytherin Day had been beautifully executed. Of course, forgiving the fact that the flyers had gone out just before lunch, which only gave the participants half a day to track down their prey. Fortunately, this only made the members of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw Houses even more enthusiastic about the task they had been handed. Everywhere you looked for the rest of that afternoon, Slytherins were being chased down left, right, and center so that they could be swallowed up into enormous bear hugs. However, everyone seemed to be attacking the First and Second Years with hugs more so than say a Sixth or Seventh Year Slytherin. Lyra thought this made sense as an older student would have much more access to the Restricted Section and thus more likely to start hurling hexes that even Madame Pomfrey couldn't fix.

And of course, one must not forget how Hug a Slytherin Day affected the dear old Potions Master. After his little meeting with Dumbledore, Snape had proceeded to shoot withering looks at every student that even came within six feet of him. So far, it seemed to work. Every student, even those bold brave Gryffindors, that approached him with open arms got one look at the murder in his eyes and ran for it.

"He deserves it you know." Fred remarked as he, George, and Lyra stared down at the sulking greasy bat from an overhanging staircase. It had been about two hours since Hug a Slytherin Day had been announced, and the three had decided to go on a stroll to see what havoc their joke had created. They continued to look down at the brooding man as he stormed down the steps, his black robes billowing out behind him.

"He needs to be put down." George said with a nod.

"He needs to get laid." Lyra stated firmly. Fred and George froze and slowly turned their heads to stare at the insane girl between them. She looked and saw their faces, realizing how she must have sounded.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." She moaned, covering her face in horror. "It's just that there used to be this really moody guy who went to my old school and Katty would always say that his problem was he never got laid..."

Fred and George looked at each other mutely before staring back at Lyra. She peeked out from between her fingers. "...Sorry?" She tried meekly.

They burst out laughing and eventually Lyra sighed in relief before joining in. They began walking back up the stairs together, chuckling as they went.

"That's a relief; I thought you guys would ship me off to St. Mungo's for even thinking of it... Hey!" She suddenly yelled out. Colin Creevey was passing by on the platform above them with his trusty magical camera.

"Colin, is it?" She called to him. Lyra took the steps two at a time ran up the over-zealous second year.

"Yes...?" He said, looking up at her with curious look. He must have been two heads shorter that her, she thought critically.

"Do you can do a little favor for us?" She said. Pure devilry underlined every syllable. Colin gave the Weasley twins fearful look. Fred and George started pointing at her wildly behind her back, mouthing things like, 'Don't look at us' and 'I have no idea'

He looked back at her. "Am I going to get in trouble if I do it?" He squeaked finally.

"Of course not." Lyra reassured him. "That is, if you can run fast enough..." She added vaguely. Colin looked truly terrified and clutched his camera closer to him. What in the name of Merlin had he gotten himself into?

_**X-o-X-o**_

**Poor little Colin...**

**-H-T-**


	3. Frogs for Photos

_**X-o-X-o**_

The next morning, Colin Creevey descended the staircase from the boy's dormitory, three large photographs in his hands. He looked around the Gryffindor common room and finally saw the swish and flick of a long mane of blonde hair. The older girl was sitting at a table, scribbling on a piece of parchment like a mad woman.

"Lyra- LYRA!" Colin yelled to her. Lyra turned around in her seat and waved him over.

"You remember what I said? Three copies?" She asked him as he came over.

"Yup." He nodded cheerfully, just happy to be alive from yesterday's mad events. He handed her the pictures and she looked them over. Lyra started giggling uncontrollably. She was very glad wizards made their photos interactive; it made them all the more entertaining. In the photographs, Professor Snape was being accosted by Fred and George, who had wrapped him up in an enormous embrace. The Potion Master's face was slowly turning maroon.

"Perfect!" She laughed. "Colin, you're worth your weight in gold!" She dug around in her pocket for a few seconds and handed him her last three chocolate frogs. "Now go get on sugar high on me." She winked at him. Colin looked dumbfounded for a minute before grinning at her.

"Thanks!" He said cheerfully and ran off to join his friends by the fireplace. Lyra watched him go with a smile and turned back to the photos. One for the twins, one for her, and another she could send to her friends back home. She sent them facedown underneath her parchment and continued the list she was writing.

"... No, that seems a bit rude..." Lyra muttered. She scratched out Number Nineteen until nothing remained but an enormous black scribble.

"What's a bit rude?" Fred demanded. He popped his head around her right shoulder, startling her.

"Surely you don't mean us." George remarked, coming around her other shoulder. She nearly up ended her jar of ink. George caught it and set it back in front of her just before Lyra swatted the both of them. "Stop doing that." She said in a reprimanding tone.

"Do what?" Fred replied, as the brothers dramatically winced at the smacks. "Is that any way to treat your best friends in the whole wide world when we're simply trying to help?" They pulled identical, hurt faces. She put down the quill looked at them suspiciously.

"What do you want?"

"Why, whatever would give you that sort of impression?" Fred said innocently. Lyra snorted.

"Don't play dumb Fred, it doesn't suit you."

He decided to cut to the chase. "Well, you see we've run into a bit of trouble:-" Fred started

"-We've got detention tonight-" George interjected.

"-With the greasy bat-"

"-For hugging him in front of everyone-"

"-And we were wondering if-"

"-I could get you out of it?" Lyra said. A slow smile stretched across her face. "Boys, I was practically born to upend this school. Just tell me when."

_**X-o-X-o**_

On the night of Fred and George Weasley's detention with Snape, there was a sudden explosion, the sound of which was heard as far as Hagrid's hut.

Professor Dumbledore looked up from the book he was reading, a serious expression on his face.

"What in the world could that be?" He murmured softly, slapping the book shut.

What had happened on the night in question could be summed up into one word:

Peeves.

The resident poltergeist of Hogwarts had been zipping down the corridor that Sunday night, sticking multi-colored gum to the ceiling, when suddenly he flew around a corner and saw a fat burlap sack tied off in a bow consisting of three ribbons: red, white, and blue. A big card sat in front of it with the phrase, '_For our precious poltergeist.'_

Peeves wasted no time in snatching up the sack. Ripping off the ribbons, he stared inside the bag gleefully. Whoever had set the bag there for him to find, he didn't find out until years later, but he always expressed the desire to return the favor one day. After all, how often was Peeves presented dung bombs as a present?

Many of the teachers were upset of course (Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick) as was many of the staff (Filch, Filch, and Filch). They were up half the night trying to calm and sedate the overly enthusiastic trickster. Over half of them had to go and take a couple good strong showers because the stench of getting dive bombed by Peeves would not vanish. They would have given anything to hunt down the person responsible and see justice be done to little twerp. Little did they realize that the annoying twerp was laughing it up in Gryffindor Tower with her partners in crime.

Lyra slid down off the sofa and onto the carpet, exhausted. "That was-"

"-Brilliant-"

"-Stupendous-"

"-Pretty damn good."

She grinned and leaned back against the sofa. "I've considering doing that for a while now." She admitted to them. "Just to see what would happen."

"Well, now you know." Fred told her as he stretched out and kicked off his shoes contentedly. "I thought Snape was going to have a coronary when that first explosion went off." He chuckled as he reminisced.

"And then the next," said George, sliding down off the sofa as well and sitting next to Lyra.

"And then the next," said Lyra. A lazy little smile was growing on her. "What he do then, the big bat of the dungeon?"

"He whipped out his wand and told us get back to out common room and stay there." Fred yawned. "Best damn thing I've heard him order us to do all year long."

At that moment there was another muffled explosion, rattling the lamp on the table nearest them. "He must be dropping four or five of those things at once to get that kind of noise." Lyra said aloud.

"And you would know this how?" George questioned her. She gave him a sidelong glance and tapped her nose knowingly. Suddenly there were sounds of muffled shouting outside the portrait hole.

"_After him! Don't let him get away!"_ A squeaky voice screamed. There was muffled bang and the unmistakable sound of Peeves whizzing down the corridor shouting, _'wheeeeeeee'_.

"_That's what I'm trying to do!"_ A woman's authoritative voice shouted. There was another bang and a second explosion.

Fred, George, and Lyra all exchanged a quick glance and burst into quiet sniggering, covering up their mouths for fear of being overheard.

"What's all that noise outside?" Someone yawned behind them. Katie Bell had just woken up and was standing at the foot of the stairs, pulling on a dressing gown groggily.

"Fred? George?" Another voice called down the boy's staircase. A few seconds later, Lee Jordan was poking his dark-haired head around the corner, staring at the three on the couch.

"What have you done and why wasn't I involved?" He asked them indignantly. George grinned, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Sorry Lee," She said. "Definitely next time, alright?"

"There _better_ be a next time." He grumbled, ascending the stairs to his dorm. Lyra yawned loudly and got to her feet. "I'm worn out." She announced. "'Night Fred, George." She said quietly, waving goodbye to them unnecessarily over her shoulder. She dragged Katie back to up bed, explaining the whole mess as they walked.

"'Night." The twins called to her retreating back in unison.

_**X-o-X-o**_

**-H-T-**


End file.
